humans break.

they can be perfectly sound physically, no bone fractures, no tears.


they’re shattered.

I’m shattered.


I am a grain of dust

a small crack of what I was.

and I don’t know how to fix it.

I don’t know what id did to deserve this

I don’t know what went wrong.

I can’t say id did everything right

it’s an excuse.

it’s me trying to believe it wasn’t my fault.

but it was.

it’s only my fault.

so why should I fight?

why should I demand something I lost any right to?

i can’t

i can’t go on

but i can’t look back

i shouldn’t

but what am i looking forward to?



a dark abyss

i don’t even see any road signs at this point.

I’m done.

all i want is to be happy again.

I’ve forgotten how to be happy.

I’m not sure if I’ll ever remember.



Au Contraire

sunshine awardOtherwise known as “I’m only replying to this nomination because Erin said I wouldn’t”


Anyway, got the sunshine award. Again. Or some kind of double award hybrid… *shrugs*

Thanks a lot Erin.

  1. I’m in college and don’t have time for blogging awards
  2. I’m not a naturally neat person anymore. I actually have to work for it.
  3. I despise calculus
  4. I love English (which is surprising since I hated it in High School… curious…)
  5. Five is my favorite number
  6. I steal my best friends’ hats/covers. Beware.
  7. I own over 400 books. That’s me, not my family. My own personal library.
  8. I apparently walk a lot in college.
  9. I am very VERY competitive.
  10. My hair was short, but I’ve decided to grow it out a bit.
  11. My handwriting is atrocious.
  12. I finally know someone who has worse handwriting than me. 😛
  13. I’ve soloed in a plane. That’s right, flew it by myself.
  14. I’ve now finished this award.

No nominees, but feel free to nominate yourself if you want!


Goodbye TCWT post 1

“What is the first thing you wrote oof your own free will?”

There are two compositions I did by myself when I was little because I wanted to write something and because i forget which was first you get to hear about both.

One was a retelling of the lion and the mouse that took place on a farm. I think jit was about a horse and a cat, but I honestly don’t recall.

The second was for a PBS story contest. It was inspired by cyberchase and involved me falling into a portal. That is also the first story that I experienced writers block.

Both stories were written when I was in the 6-7 age range.

One week in

Hey guys.

So I have officially been a college student for a week.

Awesome right?

Though my experience may be a little different then normal.. I wear a red hat, high socks, run through the barracks and sound off. I am a service  acadamy prep student at a military college.

But hopefully you all rembered me saying that earlier.

This place is tough, it is different but it is a TON of fun! I like sounding off, I like eating at attention, I like asking permission “refuel”. It’s going to get a lot harder when the other students get here and recruit training really starts, but for now I’m just having fun doing what I’m supposed to.

Hopefully I can keep that attitude through RAT…

The Blog Post That Isn’t

The Monday Heretic

Have you—yes, you, the person reading this—ever posted something on Facebook just to make others think of you in a certain way? Taken a picture of you looking good or doing something awesome just to impress someone? Said something borderline mean just to be funny, modified your real opinion just to fit in, refused to admit you were wrong just to show that person, that one particular person who is so self-important, that you are just as good as they are?


Or, maybe a better question: has there been a day when you haven’t done one of these things?

It’s been a while for me, even here on this blog. I’d like to say that I always write on it for the right reasons, but most of the time (all of the time?) our motivations are mixed. On my good days, I write on this blog because I want to…

View original post 428 more words

Christ is Risen!



Jesus Christ Risen Today! Sinners wipe your tears away!

Jesus’ death upon the cross  Saveth us from endless loss.

Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia.

See the Holy Women Come, Bearing spices to the tomb;

Hear the white-clad angel’s voice Bid the universe  rejoice.

Alleluia, Allleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia

Go tell all his brethren dear “He is risen, nor is here!

Seek him not among the dead; He is risen as He said!”

Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia

Glory, Jesus, be to three! Thine own might hath set Thee free!

Come! for primal joy restored, Let us bless our Paschal Lord!

Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia.

TCWT March: I’m Sick of Novels

No, not really, but I thought it a fitting a title because of this month’s prompt.

Also, shock value! ;-P

Okay, to the point… or, prompt.

“What are your thoughts on reading or writing books in non-novel formats? Are there any you’ve particularly enjoyed?”

This is actually well timed.

This past Friday my church was having a fish fry. To be fair, I must say I did not want to go. I had kind of spent 4 hours practicing old 60s songs for a play so i kind of just wanted to chill at home. But I did go, and ended up playing bingo with my siblings and some other people. It turned out they had prizes for the winners. I won, and got a lovely antique collection of american poetry.

This is one of my all time favorite non-novel formats for creative writing.

I grew up memorizing and studying classic poetry.

My all time favorite poet is Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

Almost every single one of my favorite poems he has written.

For the longest time poetry was my number one form of writing.

I’ve actually won a couple poetry contests.

I love the different rhythms of poetry, and how the author’s style differs depending on the subject matter.

For instance, Paul Revere’s Ride differs from The Psalm of Life not only on subject, but in the sound of the poem (BTW Paul Revere’s Ride is my all time favorite poem).

Poetry is a chance to be descriptive without describing a thing, if you like to do that. I love poems on a single object, or view, that turns this ordinary object into something magical by not saying what it is about.

When writing a novel, you can’t just ramble on about a window without specifying it is a window. In poetry, you have more freedom. You don’t have to say it’s a window.

The way I see it, poetry is permission to be vague and over descriptive all at once.

It is permission to use more adjectives then is permissible in novels.

When you write poetry, you can throw a hood over your writers eyes, give them a bunch of descriptive passionate words, and let them draw the pictures.

It takes the pressure off writers who ask their proof readers “do you picture this? Do I need less adjectives, more adjectives?”

In poetry, there is no right or wrong answer.

There’s what the author thinks, and what this reader thinks, and that reader…

Well, that’s what i think anyway.

Poetry is a beautiful mixture of words into a certain pattern. It could be a rhyming couplet, a haiku, or just some abstract idea that has a kind of rhythm that sounds good to.

I typically use the latter.

The point is, in poetry you have real freedom of expression, even more so then when you write a story.

In a story, you want to keep your readers attention through out it. you need a certain amount of characters, a certain amount of action,a  begging middle and end.

In poetry, anything goes.

What about you? Who’s your favorite poet? poem? have you ever tried your hand at writing poetry/ Why or why not?

And I’m sorry, I couldn’t find a whole long schedule for this month. If any one know’s where to find that if you are posting one of the first couple days, I’d appreciate learning that.

I did figure out who’s posting tomorrow, and of course I’ve got the TCWT blog.

Please be sure to check out both!

March 9th – http://rcubedreadsreviews.blogspot.com/

TCWT Blog – https://teenscanwritetoo.wordpress.com/


One Day More…

Until I pull my hair out.


Some people associate this month with basketball, bets, or sweaty guys in shorts.

All i can think of is failure, or success.

Denial, or acceptance.

This is the month (and it could leak into April, i’m not quite sure) when my future will have to be decided.

This month I’ll be learning what summer camps I’ve been slotted for, what schools I’ve been accepted to, and whether I will have to attend community college and work for a year because none of my schools accepted me.

*hangs head*

Is that depressing or what?

I don’t know what to hope for, what to expect, i’m basically sitting on a bed of pins and needles here trying to keep calm, and not think about it.

See what a good job I’m doing?

I know I need to focus on finishing all my high school work before graduation, but it’s hard.

Not only am I anxious about college, but I’m trying to finish all the requirements for my next CAP promotion, the last one before Mitchell. I need to have Mitchell before Encampment.

If anyone has a tip on how to energize someone when it comes to math and trigonometric functions, or chemistry and electron models, I’d appreciate you sharing it with me.

I love Chemistry, really I do. But I’m finding it hard to get myself to sit down and do the work.

Same with math.

I tolerate most of math, but anything that has to do with triangles or shapes i’m hopeless. Also I do better math in summer, with natural light, so trying to get it done in the dead of winter is on the border of difficult and practically impossible.

I guess I just need to face it head on, like an earthbender (been watching a bit to much Avatar lately, can you tell?).

Well, wish me luck guys.

This first week is going to be really hard.

February Movie Lines Answers

1. “As You Wish

Answer: Westley from The Princess Bride

2. “Hello, ma’am. Your daughter, she’s done a great injustice, so we’ve come here seeking revenge. You see, we may not look like much, but between the three of us we have five legs, four eyes and two and a half pairs of working lungs, but we also have two dozen eggs, so if I were you, I would go back inside.”

Answer: Augustus Waters, The Fault in Our Stars

3. “Ask her who she is, and what she’s a’doin here.”

Answer: Grumpy from Snow White and Seven Dwarfs

4. “Maybe God has a bigger plan for me than I had for myself. Like this journey never ends. Like you were sent to me because I’m sick. To help me through all this. You’re my angel.”

Answer: Jamie from A Walk to Remember

5. “Well, yes, ma’am, I do… I mean, I got everything I need right here with me. I got air in my lungs, a few blank sheets of paper. I mean, I love waking up in the morning not knowing what’s gonna happen or, who I’m gonna meet, where I’m gonna wind up. Just the other night I was sleeping under a bridge and now here I am on the grandest ship in the world having champagne with you fine people. I figure life’s a gift and I don’t intend on wasting it. You don’t know what hand you’re gonna get dealt next. You learn to take life as it comes at you… to

Answer: Jack Dawson from Titanic


“Promise, everyday, come rain or shine, through Hell or high water?”

“…I promise.”

Answer: Charlie and Sam from Charlie St. Cloud

7. “And that put pain to it. I wonder who first discovered the power of poetry in driving away love?”

Answer: Lizzie Bennet from 2005 Pride and Prejudice

8. “I can’t eat right now. I gotta find something to wear to the wedding.”

Answer:Ronnie from The Last Song (My Mom and Sis are big Nicholas Sparks fans)

9. ” How does she know you love her?”

Answer:Giselle from Enchanted

10.  “Love is putting someone else’s needs before yours.”

Answer: Olaf from Frozen

Alright, I’ve learned two weeks is far to long a time to put off answers.

From now on i will post the movie quiz the first Monday of the month, and post answers the following Saturday.

Which means the March quiz will come out March 2nd and the Answers will be posted March 7th.

Speaking of March, i decided to let you lovely readers choose the genre!

Will it be Scifi or Fantasy? 

Let me know in the comments what you’d like to guess on!

I will not draw from any Rated R movies, however good they are (Somewhat sadly. Fury was excellent.).

The most extreme I’m going is Star Trek or Lord of the Rings.