Just Plain Life

I’m Alive

My last blog post was different from some of my others in that I let myself be extremely unguarded and personal, more so than any other post I think.

I’ve been going through a rough patch. A very rough patch.

I’d rather not disclose all the details as to what happened, or why I’ve been living in the dark (and not just in the blogging sense) but I’m ready to give a simple overview.

In March I got some really bad news that more than scarred me, it nearly killed me.

I’ve been going through a really bad depression ever since, especially after school ended and I had to come home and leave my friends. I was without any direction or purpose or the support from friends whose presence I’d come to rely on so much. I got much worse.

I’m finally starting to heal, I think.

At least, I’m able to function better then I have in weeks.

I’m trying to piece myself back together slowly because I’ve seen what’s happened when I try to do it to fast.

I haven’t yet decided whether this blog will be in the picture much longer.

It served its purpose in my life, and I think I need a new place for a new, wiser, and more aged me.

We shall see what happens.

I’m still healing, and I have a long way to go, but I’m hopeful I can move on from here.

Thank you for the prayers that were offered after my last post.

 

Attempting to Prevent Stupidity from Overuling my Common Sense.

I’ll be honest, I’m feeling left out.

Everyone I know, for the most part, is getting all psyched up for NaNoWriMo.

Everyone, but me.

I’m a prep, on scholarship, and sponsored, meaning my grades are beyond important. If I get one D in the year my scholarship money goes away, and even a C is risking it.

So there is absolutely no possible way I can do NaNo this year.

*cough* unless I wake up at 1AM on Nov 1st and do something stupid *cough*

However, I’ll be here (when I can spare the time) for moral/mental support.

I can’t wait to hear of everyone’s NaNo adventures this year! Because I am absolutely NOT going to wake up at 1 AM on Nov 1st and do something stupid!

Right, Common Sense?

*sound of distant laughter*

Catch Up!

hey guys! Good grief, it’s been ages since I’ve had time to sit and write out a blog post.

Hoorah for labor day!

Right so since it’s been about 5 weeks since I’ve given you an update on what in my life is going on, I’ll try and squeeze over  a month of crazy wonder into a few coherent paragraphs.

I showed up in new Mexico when the temperature was about 100-102* F (I don’t carry a thermometer around with me, so I can’t say for certain). It was beautiful. The sky was the bluest blue I’d ever seen, the Commandant came to pick me and about 6 other preps from the airport and take us to the campus.

I stepped out of the van and thought I’d walked into Redwall. All the buildings are built in military gothic style (true style. I learned that at 1st squadron cook out form the superintendent) which basically means pretty castle.

If any of you have seen the animated series Redwall, it looks just like Redwall Abby.

After being completely blown away by the architecture, I got to lug all my luggage up two flights of stairs to my dorm room. Dorm was slightly less impressive, but it’s got a sink and the shower rooms are two doors down. Yes, I have to go outside and walk down the stoop to go to the bathroom or shower. Doesn’t suck yet, but come winter… we’ll see…

It took days for my roommate to get here, and for a while I wondered if I was getting a roommate. This is almost a requirement here because to make the bed properly (military school. Bed making is a must. No wrinkles) you have to take the mattress off the bed, which is on a bunk above the desk. requires two people. And besides, what’s a college experience without a roommate?!

Anyway, got a roommate, she’s awesome, and is prepping for the merchant marine academy (hmm… wonder if she’ll meet Liam there… probably someone here will, there are like 25 preps for MMA).

That was almost two months ago.

I’m into my fourth week of school, just 5 weeks ago from the first grading period.

I’m anxious to keep and/or improve my grades before then.

My two favorite classes are Military History and Chemistry. I looovvveee chemistry. My teacher for chem is considered pretty strict, but she is so passionate about chemistry and teaching us students you can’t help but love her and her classes.

Military history is taught by a retired Air Force officer who used to teach at the Air Force academy. He has no trouble going on and on and on about history, any history. If lunch wasn’t right after his class, I’d have no problem with it being two hours long rather then 1. Actually, he usually goes over by about 20 minutes or so, but I really don’t care, the subject matter is usually so intriguing.

Besides that I have, of course, English (English teacher is one of my favorite teachers. She’s new here, and ridiculously nice), military science, prep orientation (class for service academy preps), chem lab (same teacher as gen chem), and pre calc.

I have plenty of work to keep me busy. And things that aren’t quite work… I’m continuing with Civil Air Patrol, for one thing, and am Deputy commander for the very small very new squadron here. We basically have very little idea what we’re doing because almost all the staff are preps who just got here.

I’m also doing chapel choir.

Besides that, there is the corps of cadets which once I turn a private I can start applying for leadership positions within that as well. Dream job, first Sergeant or Platoon leader. Or platoon sergeant…

Yeah, maybe I’m crazy for trying to do so much… okay, I am DEFINITLY crazy for trying o do so much, but it is within my nature to go for all or nothing.

I should really learn to tone it down a bit…

So yeah, that’s life. Drill, classes, parade practice, homework… oh, and mandatory football games,

The life of a college freshman…. well, a college freshman at a  military school.

Final Note: I apologize for any grammatical errors or inconsistency in this post. All my good English I am bottling up for this essay I have to write in a week.

Loving Life

I’m having a blast. I don’t care if I have to run through the dorms, or walk on the far rightside, or pop to at dinner, I am loving life as a RAT, as a college student, as a prep… I’m loving it all.

I love my classes, I love my teachers, I loved doing the obstacle course on the 21 day ceremony.

I didn’t particularly love going without my phone for 3 weeks, but I survived so that doesn’t matter anymore.

I’ve learned that yes I hate functions, and yes I am actually good at history, and yes I am actually good/enjoy chemistry. Considering I was homeschooled all of grade school and I never did like real labs or big exams each semester this comes as a bit of a relief.

And I do love my teachers. I love class.

I’m loving life.

Except for PT… I don’t think I’ll ever learn to love prep PT…

Things

What I like:

Honey I’m Good, by Andy Grammer

Fight Song by Rachel Platten

Getting e-mails.

Watching Iron Man

Listening to music.

Reading

What I Can’t stand:

Waiting.

Waiting to hear back from someone.

Waiting to hear from a particular someone.

The last cold symptoms hanging on for an extra couple days even after you’re over the worst.

Not knowing.

Not knowing what to say or do.

Not knowing what they’re thinking.

Not being able to see the future.

I’m not dead

Hey guys. This is just a quickie post to say

1. I survived the worst cold/flu thing I have had in ages. Kept me from being productive for  a complete week, but I’m mostly over it now.

And 2. I don’t know have often I’ll be posting… I have two weeks until I leave for school. I honestly have now idea how busy I’ll be. You certainly will get only pre-written posts in August, if I even get those done, but we’ll see what September brings.

I’ll try and be a good blogger for the next two weeks, keep you up to date on packing and the likes.

I’ll try and read a book while I’m at it.

Ahhhhhhhh….. choo!

My foggy brain presents 5 horrible things about being sick.

1. living in a sick fog

2. No sleep, even when you are utterly exhausted.

3. Unable to do anything that you have to do before leaving for college.

4. Nearly dying after attending a Civil Air Patrol meeting while sick (and trying to put together a robotic arm…)

5. Every. single. Day.

Priorities? Forget about it!

I am a 100% go get ’em girl.

I hate not giving my all because I hate not being the best.

*sigh* I know, another vice rooted in big problem pride.

But the result of this is that I struggle letting go of activities I should by all right be bowing out of.

I am moving to New Mexico in two months, yet I signed up for my library’s summer reading program, am trying for my next CAP promotion for the Monday before I leave, and strive to read 95% of the classic book I own but haven’t read.

Crazy?

Yes, very.

I just took (and passed) the leadership test for my next CAP promotion yesterday, and no doubt I will be questioned by the Deputy Commander of Cadets at the next meeting as to why I’m trying to promote when I’m leaving in 7 weeks!

Especially since I still have a ton to do before I’m even close to ready to leave for a two week summer camp followed by week long vacation on Tuesday

I have some serious prioritizing to do.

What I’m Doing 6/4/2015

Reading:

The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett. One of my Mom’s favorite childhood books that I have never read. There are very few of those, however, and I think this may be one of only two left…

Mr. Darcy’s Diary by Amana Grange. An attempt at retelling Pride and Prejudice through the eyes of Mr. Darcy as recorded in his diary. A rather poor attempt I think , but it’s an easy read and I loathe quitting a book unless I am really having a hard time sympathizing with the characters or getting into the story. Obviously I have never had that problem with an Austen theme book. Yet…

David Copperfield by Charles Dickens: I will finish this book! And Oliver Twist! And a Tale of Two Cities! Basically, I want to finish all except the Christmas stories this summer.

Watching:

Doctor Who: Erin’s got me rewatching the first couple seasons of Doctor Who. I’d forgotten how wonderful Ten is… *sigh*

Phineas and Ferb: Yes, I am watching a children’s cartoon. I’m on a cartoon kick because the series will be ending soon, don’t judge me!

Mockingjay Part 1: My sister’s birthday just passed and she got Mockingjay Part 1 on Bluray and DVD. For her birthday I agreed to stay up until 1am to watch it with her even though we’d both been up 11pm – 1am for the past week because of play stuff.

Listening:

Shut Up And Dance by Walk the Moon. This song is addicting! I love it!

Bad Blood remix by Taylor Swift.

Dear Future Husband by Meghan Trainor

Select songs by Bruno Mars

What I Should Be/Need to Be Doing

Study for SAT this Saturday.

Work on Novel.

Pack for Vacation.

Work on nostalgic story for Erin.

Work on story pieces for Erin’s nostalgic story (I’ve started them! I promise!)

Prepare to leave for New Mexico in 8 weeks.