Today, thousands of people have disappeared from reality.
No, don’t panic! They’ll be fine.
Well, in 30 days they’ll be fine… for now, do all you can to avoid them. The person you once knew so well is gone, forget them! Their minds are in another world, and their bodies are but shells that remain stuck in this measured time.
If you encounter anyone who bears a laptop or a notebook in the next few days, and you see them writing or typing or staring off into space, DO NOT TOUCH THEM!
Leave them alone, do not even SPEAK to them!
If interaction is called for, give them chocolate and/or coffee, say what you must, and then run!
If you can, wait until Thanksgiving for any conversation.
It is the one day of this challenging time that draws these creatures from their dens of crumbled paper and dim laptops.
That is the best and simplest advice for any outsiders.
But I am not naive enough to think that outsiders only need advice…
So, for ye who are about to embark on this grand adventure, I have collected a certain number of monsters which you will encounter, and whom you must slay to claim your 50,000 word prize.
The first monster you will face will be one or a dozen (probably a dozen) small and cute bunny rabbits. Beware of them! They are the plot bunnies. They will be the children of the bunny that started you on this epic quest. Some of these bunnies will offer you nice little plot devices and characters for your novel. Some that is, but not all. Beware! There are some that dress in rabbits’ fur, but are demons bunnies. They will attempt to lure you away from the story you’ve begun, and change your entire plot, bringing it crashing to pieces around you.
Beware of plot bunnies.
The next monster you are likely to encounter is a dark knight astride a two headed horse. He is the Sir Word-Ego. He will tease you and taunt you about your word counts. He will make you write more and more until you get a whole week ahead! Then he will smile and nod, and say to you, “good job! Now you can stop writing for a week you’re so ahead!”
Woe to those who heed his honey words!
If one stops writing in November for more then a day, then one will never finish.
After Sir Word-Ego you will come to a great stone bridge. It will be guarded by three trolls, the most bothersome creatures you’ve met. They are the Author Trolls. They guard the bridges that cross the Chasm of Middle. The Chasm of Middle is a great canyon, a rift in the noveler’s world. It crosses right at the epic climax in every author’s stories. Crossing it means you are sure to finish. T
he Trolls are there to make sure you don’t.
They dance about you and taunt you, pointing at the great array of bridges that stretch up and down the rift.
“Look and see! look and see!” they crow and giggle like children. “Those are the real authors’ bridges! They are great! You are not! They are great! You are not!”
These trolls love to plant doubt and fear in a writer’s mind. They compare them to Tolkien and Chesterton and Robert Louis Stevenson.
If you give into the trolls taunting, you will never cross the Chasm of Middle, and your story will be a lonely orphan.
Assuming you make it past the Trolls, you will then face the final beast. The Sevens. They are the final week of your challenge, and will plague you, urging you to write faster, then slower; they’ll beg you to skip school and chores.
Some of the sevens can be nice, and will encourage you. Most will delight in causing you stress that makes you crash and burn and fail.
What a lot of monsters right?
If you just follow these Five steps you’ll do fine.
2. Go about your daily life as much as possible
4. Don’t listen to trolls or other monsters who try to convince you that there is no point to your writing.
May NaNoWriMo begin!!!